so i don't know if i told you about this, but when i was littler than i am now - technically when i was still in school..middle school .. (i think) my dad's friends always asked me what i wanted to do and who i wanted to be.. i didn't know - i always gave the same answer, firmly: i do not want to be a DOCTOR, or a MO7AMI or a MHANDES.. it was very clear to me - NO.
i am now, almost a year past my five years of studying architecture, a functional architect..builder - making things, buildings - for people. i am what i didn't want to be - no regrets, i think. but it makes me think.. of reasons why i used to answer my same answer every time - this complete rejection of a stream of consciousness that requires you to be on a pedestal of intellect.. or the simple disrespect of professional specimen, they weren't appealing..doctors, lawyers and engineers - they didn't change my world.
now i come, to change my world, bit by bit - and it seems that no one is really interested, i look at myself and remember something super-sunni used to tell me
"stop, you're making a fool out of yourself"
well maybe i am, but it's the only way i know how to do things.. i miss how i know how to do things - now, people - each on their own pedestal, lecture from above.. i don't know where this is going, but i am building my rifle made of bows and arrows of clicks and clacks of things that hurt - and i'm using it starting tomorrow..