Saturday, February 13, 2010


The age of being born, is dead. Talent is dead. Prophets are boring to negligence, dismissed upon their attempts of communicating Nirvana. We are no longer born gifted, we are made. You still don’t like Haifa though.

The peacock-nosed-born-ingeniously altered feast is the new Leila. Haifa has become a household exclamation mark, question mark, comma and full stop, and still is riveted with the connotation of Arab deterioration. People, it’s all about Darwin. In a world where the Opera House in which Oum Kolthoum fluttered was burnt to make parking space for illiterate drivers may not and cannot criticize this product. It is invalid.

Haifa is not here to replace Oum Kolthoum, if anything, she is of the lineage of Souad Hosni. So, Khalli Balak Min Zouzou, and give me a break. I do not understand the acceptance of this, not that. Most of the arguments I get would be, “but Hosni was an actress, so it wasn’t necessary for her to have a good voice”. *beep* Haifa is an actress, now what?
Ok, seriously.. now what? Is that it? Nomenclature. Well, ok – then Feiruz is the diva of the reminiscent dull – we still like her – Dalida is the tacky glitter and broken Arabic – we still like her – Egyptian black-and-whites have the most luscious extravagantly erotic belly-dancing, and five-year-olds are allowed to watch. What is this all about? Cleavage? Drugs? Sex?
Look around, thank you.

It seems to me that, in herself – in her essence, Haifa is not the issue. The problem lies in a social chunk – the middle east – that is potty trained to live in the past, to not-do instead of do, to think instead of to execute, and get married instead of buying contraception. Fuck you. Yes you, fuck you – and not the nice fuck you.. the one that you moan to, the one that you like.. no the Fuck you.. the rape fuck you – the one that’ll screw your psych till you fucking drop fuck you; this Fuck you.

Let’s keep Allah off Melody Hits and the likes, this will not be tagged “haram”. If anything should be taken into a juridical dimension, let’s take Haifa, the product and test it. If it works, you shut up.

_woops, it’s already done..Haifa works. And no, it’s not because sex sells, although it does, but a lot more erotica was put into ‘projects’ that died after their first pilots. Ehm, Najla? So shut up.
Now for the readers that are unzipping to AbdelHalim and Asmahan, please do not let me interrupt you – and as a mitigation to “heads off” me – this is not at all about music. Haifa is not about music. She is not about the tick-tack-toe of melody, nor the conservatoire reps, nor the breakthroughs in goose-bump production. Haifa is a cultural product, parallel to any other cultural produce with its own set of rules and regulations that it is liable to.

If we want to blow this out of proportion, Haifa is one of the few of our products that actually worked, besides the shisha. What have we done, as Arabs, since our Golden Age? I’ll tell you. We
A. exported everyone intelligent
B. threw stones at people that felt like thinking
C. put titles on each other so we would know who to kiss and who to shoot
D. made more lines on our atlas to know just exactly where we end and where we begin
E. called onto people beyond the oceans to teach us how to shit
F. made more mosques, more sheikhs to tell us bad things about America the devil
G. are running out of petrol, with nothing else in mind
H. etc. is an understatement

So yes, my lovelies, it is not about Haifa, it is about this ridiculous phobia of the unfamiliar, of the unpracticed, the unattained and the failure to launch into a system that is not supported by gossip and contacts. It is this, the Kulhaifathum Obstruction, the haphazard orientations to invalid references to camouflage a lack of analytical or production capability, that kept us is keeping us and will keep us from ever doing anything. Fuck y*some text missing*