wipes liquid off face
ok, so here's the thing. this week has been interestingly obnoxious and very learn-worthy, to an extent that i don't really feel like writing - but i feel i have to - just to sum up - ..things and attempt to vent (obviously the only purpose of this blog) - anyways, as it turns out, in defiance to my singular belief, that passion doesn't make the world go round - money does.. not nice. note to self, make money..then jerk off on someone you like. BUT lesson#2.. people you like, dont like you..really - and other people, you dont give as much attention to, seem to like you - even though you dont give them the light of day - or the reason to. .which is now, an obvious viscious circle..you are those people, with the other people (that you like) .. now that sucks. i also learned that i must accept the fact that i can be depressed, and not be bugged about it - and i must also .. well, expect people not to want to be around a depressed entity - hence, i paint my kitchen yellow - so maybe they'll incubate in smiledom. what i also learned is that people get married, and have babies - and construct this mini-world that they get stuck in - and it pisses me off. i hate people when they become 35, although they turn me on - but they're stupid..and married most of the time. i learned that when you feel a little insecure, you must make someone else very insecure - and then you become very.. happy? i learned that the past is never the past and the future is never the future - the present doesnt exist.. well = everything you might be doing had been done and will be done by someone else - simply in different phases that are not synchronized, and that you are never doing something new - never. which is happy in a sense that we share this vast everythingness - but depressing when you write things in your little notebook.
and i learned that people must not run after planets, because they will never catch them.. and i learned that i will always do..because i cant grasp that i cant, and i wouldnt take it otherwise.