i have been working on a little pseudo-possible-documentary on the river in tripoli (which is becoming a non-river), so i thought that it would be nice to video-tape it an produce a piece for my hypothetical grandchildren...for at the rate of social catastrofuck, this slit of a river will be no more.
so, after a couple of rounds of shooting, getting lost in vessels of pedestrian conduct, little alleys of this and that - smells, i think - scentractions of mapmarks and insinuated direction, i noticed - that this city is no more. i grew up here, for a while - although i don't consider myself a local. i dont see myself suitable for this concept, ..''local'' - i spent more time in my head..on paper, or something else introverted .. relating myself to nothing but myself, for safe anchor - and this is why.
i see myself drifting to the collection of little things, to pickle things, because i can't push them forward. it is becoming a defense, while all i need to do is offend this streaming system of absurd irrelevance. i criticize, but i think i do nothing, a blurred goal, a blurred relevance, a blurred everything - for i set no base, no anchor, but myself - this self losing interest in its obsessions, fleeting obsessions, no control over. no more, at least.